Some screwball church in Florida is threatening to expose a former parishioner, a 49-year-old mother, for carrying on a normal relationship with her equally adult boyfriend. 

In this woman’s honor, I intend to emulate her example by talking through my clenched teeth for the rest of the day.

“I’m starting to think I got ripped off by that correspondence ventriloquism school.”

[ videogum via ShareBro Maj ]